I couldn't take it anymore. I snapped. I killed someone. I'm only thirteen years old, and I killed someone. But out of all of the people whom I could have killed, why did it have to be my mom? The only person who actually treated me with respect? Now I'm all alone. It's all my fault. I'm a killer! Looking at the bloodstained knife in my hand, still warm with her blood, I realized that the only escape was suicide. Plunging the knife into my heart, I let out a scream as I dropped to the floor, landing on top of my mother. The last thing I ever saw was my mother's unmoving body. I shed a single tear onto her chest as my blood grew cold and I died.
Opening my eyes, I saw a funhouse. All I could hear was laughter and screams. A flame appeared in front of me. Emerging from the flame was Satan.
"You are here because you killed an innocent person," he said, "Not only that, it was the only person who loved you. Although they will be resting in Heaven, you shall remain in Hell as a reminder of how you chose to resort to needless violence."
"This doesn't look like Hell to me," I said, "Is this a test out on by the angels to see if I'm worthy of entering Heaven?"
"Listen to the screams. These souls are suffering in pain. They will never rest. They won't stop screaming. Even at the sight of this fun house, with all of the lights and music, will not bring them joy of simpler times. The pain will only increase as they are reminded of the lives of those who are still kind at heart, and the innocence they had during the life that they wasted on Earth. Tell me. Does that sound like Heaven to you?"
Realizing that this wasn't a test, I froze. I was petrified. Shaking, I asked Satan "Isn't there any way that my soul can be redeemed? Can't I escape this nightmare?"
"Soul?" Satan started, "What soul? You no longer have one. It is now my property, telling me that you are now my slave. Nothing more than a mindless puppet whom I can torture at will. Only I will hear your screams. They amuse me. No matter how loud you scream, and no matter how loud you call for your so-called "saviors", God, Jesus, and the angels; they will never hear you. Your mind, body, and every essence of your being are mine. I control you."
Pointing at me, my body shook as my nervous system was overwhelmed with pain. I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. I could not move. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the warped faces of demons laughing at me.
"This is what you chose," Satan said, "You chose to kill, and you chose to spend the afterlife in pain and suffering."
"It's not my fault!" I managed to shout, "I was emotionally abused during my life. I don't deserve this!"
"That's no excuse! Despite being abused all throughout your childhood, it doesn't excuse murder! Didn't anyone ever tell you that you'll grow up to live a better life than your abusers? Now here you are, after resorting to killing. You didn't learn anything!"
"Well why am I in front of a funhouse? How is this supposed to be Hell for me?"
The pain stopped as Satan explained where I was.
"This funhouse contains your abusers. You shall wander here for eternity."
Shoving me in the door, Satan laughed as he locked me inside. I was alone. There was no way out.
In front of me, I saw myself. It wasn't a mirror. It was a clone of me.
"It's me," the clone said to me, "I can't believe you ended up here. You don't look half bad for someone who just arrived in Hell, but trust me…"
The clone's skin shredded revealing its muscles.
"Eventually, you'll end up like the rest of us. In fact, it's guaranteed! Do you know why? I am you!"
The muscles ripped in half as if they were punctured by a knife. With its nervous system exposed, it proceeded to eat its muscles.
"Fresh meat! You're so tender! The demons will have fun with you. It's not a lot of meat. Why? Deep down, you're still just a coward! An emotionally abused husk!"
They tore out their nervous system and let out a blood curdling scream.
"The pain! Why did God gift me pain if He believed me to be of good heart? Did He believe that I deserved to suffer for being given life? Sure, physical pain is one thing, but not even God can cure your mental wounds! No matter how much it hurts, no matter whom you talk to, you'll always find some way of being reminded of the tragedies you experienced and you'll break! The best part? That's the pain that demons love to inflict the most! It doesn't matter how hot the flames are down here. As long as you break, it doesn't matter how charred you are!"
Looking at their veins, they tore out their heart as their skeleton was exposed.
"I'm so cold… Someone hold me… It's dark, both inside and outside. You're a monster. You have no sense of good nor evil! No moral compass! If you truly loved your mother, you wouldn't have killed her! You feared that she would have turned on you! You didn't have to listen to Thomas Hobbes, but you felt that she had evil in her heart! She bore you for 9 months. You kicked her, and you heard her screams as you exited the womb. Did she ask for you to apologize for the pain you caused? No! You were meant to be a gift to her and your father!"
They grabbed an axe from the wall.
"I've had enough of you! You don't deserve to have your flaws dissected! I know you won't listen to a word you say! Why? I'm you!"
They chopped themself to pieces as they laughed. They didn't stop until they were reduced to atoms. Even as a pile of a bone meal, I could still hear them.
"You can't escape me! Whatever you feel, so do I! You fed me with hatred for your mother, and I acted upon it! Therefore, we both killed her! I'm not real, am I? In the end, it was only you who killed! Do you want to run? Do you want to refuse to accept the truth? I watch your every move! Even as you die, I too shall die! I will follow you to the afterlife! I AM YOU!"
The room echoed with their laughs. It was hard to tell if they were laughing or screaming. It sounded like a mix of both, similar to what you would hear in a mental asylum. I plugged my ears, and screamed along with the voice as I ran into the next room.
Looking around the room I just entered, I felt sick. The colour scheme of dark purple combined with moving spotlights and a weird funk background music made me feel as if I had stepped into some porn set. Then I saw it. A disgusting green fungus with what looked like visible genitalia on all sides of its body.
"I am the fungus," it said, "Aren't you aroused? When you saw all of the women on TV and online, it turned you on didn't you?"
It crept towards me.
"Didn't you just want to touch them? Feel them? You were desperate! Feeling no love from your family nor your peers, you resorted to images of scantily clad women willingly exposing themselves in front of a camera to feel some sort of connection. In fact, most of them weren't even trying to be arousing! It was just pictures of women on the beach in bikinis minding their own business, but you couldn't resist! You so desperately wanted someone to touch you, feel you, and say that they love you! All that lust grew, until it became me!"
The fungus started shifting. Like clay, it molded itself into a woman. The woman was completely nude with almost no discernable facial features. However, their breasts were massive. It was almost as if that fungus knew what aroused me.
"What do you think?" it said in a voice that I can only describe as somewhat female, "Don't you want to confess to me? Don't you want to tell me what I should do to you?"
They grabbed me.
"I know what arouses you. I know your fetishes. It doesn't matter what I look like, as long as I can do what you ask, you're happy! You see me and other women as nothing more than objects! Tell me! What do you want? Do you want to tie me up? Spank me? Hit me and dump me in the trash when you're like the rest of the sluts on the streets? Look at me! I'm a bimbo! I'm everything you want in a woman! Use me! Break me! Admit that you're controlled by lust! You're scum!"
Breaking out of their grasp, I ran out of the room. Looking behind me, I saw their face distort. Their body melted until they were reduced to the same fungus as before. It lurched towards the now closing door, but it was too late. I slammed the door in their face, and heard a moan from them. I ignored it as I continued.
Climbing up the stairs, I entered a seemingly empty room. In it was a single spotlight shining on a chair. In it sat some sort of sea creature.
"A visitor?" it said, "It's been years… It's hard to believe that someone actually wants to see me… I am the brine shrimp."
I braced myself, expecting to be attacked at any moment. Instead, it just stayed there and sat in its chair.
"What am I saying? You didn't choose to see me. You're in Hell, after all. You're only here because this is your punishment. To be honest, I wish I was in your position. At least you actually have a purpose and goals. You're trapped in this fun house as a punishment for your actions on Earth. I wish that I could be in your place, but I have nothing. Look at me. I'm a failure. I used to be somebody. I had a family, a house, and everything. Back in high school, I had all sorts of friends. We would read comics, drink beer, and just talk. I'm alone now. I can only talk to myself. No one else can hear me, or they can but just ignore it since it's just the ramblings of someone who is clearly insane. I've tried to escape, but the door is locked. I've tried so many methods of escaping. Guns, drugs, nooses; nothing works. Won't you stay here?"
I feared that they were insane, and they would hurt me. I got to the door, and saw the lock. Finding a spare paperclip on the floor, from what I can only assume was yet another failed suicide attempt, I picked it up and picked the lock. The lock fell off the door. I turned and saw the brine shrimp staring at me in shock.
"You're telling me that all this time, I could have just picked the lock? Why didn't I think of that? I had all this time to just think, but escape never crossed my mind."
They handed me a gun.
"Please," they said, "Shoot me. Kill me. Perhaps if I'm killed by a stranger, I'll finally have a chance at dying."
I stared at the gun. Did I really want to kill them? Wasn't this how I ended up here? By killing my mom? Maybe it's for the better. I mean, they have nothing right? Sure, they were successful in the past, but now they're trapped in this fun house. Still, I'm technically killing someone who is innocent. They aren't actively trying to hurt me. They just wanted interaction. In the end, the thoughts of killing won. I aimed the gun at the brine shrimp and fired. The brine shrimp fell over, but a few seconds later, they were revived.
"Why?" they said with tears forming in their eyes, "No matter how I die, and no matter who kills me, I'm still here! I can't even leave this funhouse. The entrance is locked, and there's no windows to jump out of. I'm stuck here! Why must I remain here? I would even take a life of suffering in poverty on Earth than spending the rest of eternity in Hell with absolutely nothing!"
I ran out before they could attempt anything else. I feared that they would snap and kill me with a still loaded gun, and yet I couldn't help but feel sorry for them.
A light blinded me as I entered the next room. I saw a group of aliens. They all looked identical. The one standing in front of me was who I assumed was their leader.
"We have been expecting you," they said, "We are the aliens. We are the ones who make all of the decisions."
"YES," all of the other aliens said at once.
"Now then," the alien said, "Were you loved?"
"NO."
That's not true! My mom was the only one who didn't abuse me. At least, I think. Was she secretly gaslighting me into thinking that she loved me? She always told me how proud she was of me and how happy she was to have me as her son. Was it all a lie?
"Did you deserve to go to Heaven?"
"NO."
I'm Christian. My parents told me to count my blessings, pray every night, and to not use the Lord's name in vain. Here I am in Hell. Was it because I snapped and killed my mom, or was I always destined to go here?
"Is God real?"
"NO."
All this time, had I been wasting time praying to someone who would never hear me? Was I always destined to be abused with no angels to save me? Was Heaven just a lie? A way to encourage me to kill myself so I could leave my parents' lives. I bet they wished to see me rot underground or burn in Hell. I bet they only made me follow their rules regarding religion just so they could keep me under their control. At least, I think that's what these aliens are saying. Should I trust them?
"YES."
Their leader didn't say anything. I haven't said anything out loud. All I have been doing is thinking to myself. Can they read my thoughts? Are they planting seeds in my mind?
"NO."
That's impossible! They have to be reading my mind! They're gaslighting me! There's no way that those are my own thoughts! Are those thoughts the truth?
"YES."
"You seem paranoid," their leader said, "Relax. It's all in your mind."
"IT'S ALL IN YOUR MIND," the rest of the aliens kept repeating. They marched towards me as their chant grew louder and the lights flashed rapidly, almost causing epilepsy. Plugging my ears, closing my eyes, and screaming, I ran to the next room.
Climbing another set of stairs, I was now inside what appeared to be a kitchen. In walked the chef. Sadly, I recognized who it was: my dad, who happens to be a chef.
"There you are," he said, "I can't believe you. You're a murderer! Here I was thinking that I had a shot at pride given how skilled you seemed to be, but it appears that the 13 years that I spent raising you were all for naught!"
He slammed a butcher's knife on the counter.
"Why don't you try some of my goods? I made them just for you!"
He pulled some cakes out of the oven.
"Do you see how soft and weak these cakes are? Do you see how they offer no nutritional value whatsoever?"
He walked up to me with the cake in hand. Pinning me to the wall, he force fed me the cake.
"It's all for show. Sure it looks pretty, but shortly it will all be stale and fed to the crows! I should have known that the inside of this cake was rotten! Given its fluffy strawberry exterior, you would expect an innocent little shortcake, right? WRONG!"
He kept shoving the cake down my throat. It felt like he was choking me. Despite the cake, which he never offered me when I was alive, this seemed much harsher than when he would actually choke me.
"All I got was Devil's food cake with a sick honeycomb core! I watched as the honey fell out onto my plate, as I realized that it was stained! I couldn't remove it without causing a scandal, now could I?"
Putting me down, he went back to the oven.
"Perhaps you would prefer some pie. I had always expected you to eat more of it."
As he took the pie out of the oven, the heat of the oven flared hotter than ever as the room filled with screams.
"It's a lovely collection in this pie. Dogs, cats, all the animals you could ever love and wish to raise. How I loved hearing their screams as I slaughtered them and threw them in the crust! Their tears added an extra salty flavour. Although, it's missing one key ingredient: human!"
He charged towards me brandishing a butcher's knife.
"An innocent piece of meat entering a sweet crust. That's what I had done, hoping that a mistake such as you wouldn't crush my dreams! I bet you wanted it too, but it's too late! Hurry on and cut yourself. Let your flesh and blood enter the crust! Let your tears and screams enter like the mammals before you! I've seen you do it when you were alive! Even though you thought that you were alone, I was watching and laughing at you for trying to escape!"
I held up my hand to block the knife. It pierced the palm of my hand. With my other hand, I grabbed the knife and thrust it at my dad. He let out a scream as I ran towards the door attempting to clean the blood falling from my hand.
"First your mother, and now me?" he shouted as I left, "All you're doing is extending your sentence, granting Satan more reasons to punish you! This act of revenge towards those who abused you will never provide you with catharsis!"
The light easily shone off of the walls and floor as I entered the next room. It was a hospital. The walls and floor were white. Sure, it was supposed to be "calm", but due to the previous rooms, I highly doubted that it actually was. In walked the nurse: my step-mom.
"It's so nice to see you, honey!" she said in an obviously fake saccharine tone, "What a shame that your mom had to die so suddenly. Now I'm your new mom!"
She stepped towards me with a syringe in hand.
"Isn't this what you always wanted? A woman in your life who actually cares for you? Perhaps you just wanted a woman in general. I bet you wanted to boss them around and tell them what you want to do with them or how they act. That won't work with me."
She grabbed me and strapped me to a hospital bed.
"I have so many desires and fantasies that I wish to engage in with you! Just seeing you there lying helplessly on that bed makes me so excited! There's nothing you can say that will stop me. You're mine! I have no intention of stopping!"
She jabbed the syringe in my arm, sending whatever it was inside it into my veins. I felt ill. My body started shaking, my temperature rose, and I felt nauseous; almost to the point of passing out. My step-mom started transforming in front of my eyes. I realized that she was Satan. I couldn't tell if it was just a hallucination from whatever she drugged me with, or if she truly was Satan in disguise.
"Look at you! So powerless and weak! You would never be dominant in the real world, so shut up and submit to what I want! I want to see you cry, scream, and break! I feel so hot! I can't contain myself! I'll break you in!"
Despite my current condition, I managed to headbutt her as she leaned towards me. With the last of my energy, I began to punch and attack her.
"Stop! Stop!" she shouted, "You aren't supposed to fight back! I'm the one who hits you! You just sit there and take it for as long as I tell you too! I'm telling your father!"
I bolted towards the door before she could call for my dad. As far as I'm aware, he didn't hear her.
Up another set of stairs, I saw the sky, filled with clouds and bright lights radiating everywhere. Was this Heaven? An angel approached me. As their face came closer to view, I realized that it was my mom.
"There you are," she said, "We have all been waiting for you. It's a shame that you sent me here. Although my life on Earth certainly wasn't pleasant, it's far worse to be here in Heaven. All day long, I'm forced to keep an eye on everyone on Earth, and I'm supposed to help them with their prayers. I can't quite say that they deserve to have their prayers answered. All I see when I look down on Earth is sin radiating from all humans. They're all flawed. Everywhere I look, there's violence, stupidity, and selfishness. The seven deadly sins have made themselves known and serve to corrupt humanity. Honestly, God doesn't care either. Tell me, do you truly know God?"
She pointed towards another figure. It was someone in a business suit. On the sides of their body was arms. You could say that they looked like a Hindu god, but not even they had as many arms as them. I counted about 10 on each side. The rest of their skin was covered in eyes and mouths. The eyes darted aimlessly while the mouths babbled incoherent nonsense. In their hands, they held phones. I had no idea as to whom they were talking to.
Mom spoke again. "That figure you see is God. Do you know God's name? Some call Him God. Others call Him Yahweh. In reality, His name is Googolplex. Ten to the power of ten to the power of one hundred. Why is that His name? He is the one. In His eyes, you, I, and all the other life on Earth are the worthless zeros that follow Him. He uses those phones to talk to us angels whenever He is confronted with another prayer. As He tells us what we're supposed to do, He complains to us how much He hates humanity and how He is forced to see us here once we die. Did you honestly believe that you would be happy and free once you went to Heaven? You're nothing but His slave. You will never be free."
God, or should I say: Googolplex turned to me and noticed that I was a mortal who somehow entered Heaven. More accurately: I was technically a demon. Googolplex started screaming into His phones as angels charged towards me as I ran.
"You dare enter Heaven?" one of them shouted.
"Demons like you deserve to rot in Hell!" another shouted.
"Here," mom said, creating a door out of nothing, "You can escape through here."
Realizing that my mom still wanted to help me even in the afterlife made me freeze briefly. Noticing the angels catching up to me, I briefly said thank you to my mom one last time as I went through.
Where was I? I couldn't tell. It looked like a featureless white plane. I was the only one there. The door that my mom made vanished. Logically thinking, I realized that I should be in another room of the funhouse. Given the amount of staircases that I climbed, I should be in the attic. Now what was I supposed to do? There was absolutely nothing in there aside from me. I was alone. Was this my mom's plan all along? Wait. I was never in Heaven. It was part of the funhouse. They gave me a brief glimpse at Heaven just for a laugh. My mom didn't want to help me escape Googolplex's wrath. She wanted to trap me here! She wanted me to suffer! It was yet another part of Satan's plan! I could try to kill myself, but I can't die! I'm already in Hell! Do you know what? I don't care anymore! Sure, I killed an innocent woman, but given all of the shit I went through, I'm glad to have a break! I'm free! I'm finally free! Free from my abusers! Free from Satan! Free from Googolplex! Free from suffering! I'm all alone, BUT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! I'M FREE! I'M HAPPY! I BET SATAN IS USING ME AS AN EXAMPLE TO ALL OF THE NEW SOULS WHO ENTER HELL! THEY CAN HEAR ME FROM OUTSIDE THE FUNHOUSE! I BET IT DROWNS OUT ALL OF THE SCREAMS OF THE TORTURED SOULS! I FINALLY HAVE AN AUDIENCE! PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME! I'M ALL ALONE, BUT I STILL HAVE A PRESENCE!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH