I love my dog so much! He's so cute and fluffy! We do everything together! He's my best friend in the whole world! And he's dead.
Why did he have to die? Was God playing some cruel joke on me? Was I only meant to suffer rather than have some dog around to make.me happy? My parents are always trying to cheer me up. Just look at them being all materialistic buying me electronics and letting me visit celebrities. They want me to forget about my dog. I can't. He was the only thing that allowed me to feel happiness.
I hate my life and everyone around me just wants to watch me suffer, but my dog was the only one who cared and wanted to see me smile. Sometimes if I stare out in the distance without focusing on anything, I'll hallucinate him thus allowing me to finally smile. Sometimes when I'm asleep, he is by my bed screaming at how much he is suffering in the afterlife. He blames his death on me. He thinks that I'm a killer.
Even though my former best friend now hates me, I still feel as if he's the only way I'll be happy. My parents are talking about getting a new dog, or maybe therapy, but even so, I'll still be able to rely on these hallucinations of a now dead figure to provide me with a sense of meaning.