"I swear to God, this is legit," my friend said to me, "I was recruited for a reason."
"Look," I said annoyed, "I know you've been into this 'spiritual soul-searching' crap for years. You always listen to Pink Floyd and give me your interpretations of their lyrics, you study indigenous cultures and even went to a powwow with a Métis family, and you've experimented with alcohol and drugs back in high school; but this? You've gone too far."
"But I was chosen to help this group."
"It's nothing more than a dumb cult or secret society."
"Come on. Give it a chance. I have a mission and I want you to help me."
"Fine… What is it that we have to do?"
"We're going to PEI to collect some stuff."
"What in particular?"
"Not sure. They just gave me the coordinates. It could be religious artifacts or maybe some experimental drugs. Now let's get going!"
I sighed and got in the car. I always thought the experimentation they did back in high school was stupid. They almost got in a car crash due to drunk driving, and out of all the drugs they chose to try, they chose cocaine. It's a miracle that they're still alive, let alone sane. Upon further thought, I came to the conclusion that this little cult thing must have been an ARG. Despite remaining skeptical for the whole drive, I sucked it up because at least I had an excuse to take a break from work and play some visual novels on the drive there and back. Finally, we arrived. We drove to Kensington.
"An ice cream parlour?" I said in disbelief.
"Yeah," my friend said, "We'll have to talk with someone inside."
We walked in and my friend started talking to the cashier.
"Excuse me," they said, "We're here on a mission. Are you a brother? A noble follower?"
The cashier just stared at them.
"Surely, you must have something for me. You were meant to guard a sacred artifact and were told to only give it to another brother or sister, right?"
"This is ridiculous!" a middle aged woman behind shouted, "I came here with my family to get some ice cream and now this nutjob is spouting their religious beliefs and is trying to convert my children to worshiping a false idol? Where's the manager?"
We left before she could unleash her wrath.
"Hmm… Must have been the wrong place," my friend said, "Worry not. The website provided me with other coordinates!"
We went back in the car and drove to Cavendish. After a similar experience at an escape room-mini golf hybrid, we left once more.
"Let's go home," I said.
"But what about this mission?" my friend asked.
"There is no mission!" I said, "Everywhere we have been has been owned by The Maritime Fun Group! Why else would a supposed cult send us to ice cream parlours and other indoor activities? It's a fucking ad!"
At that moment, a car drove into the parking lot. Out stepped 2 people wearing sunglasses and tuxedos.
"Don't move!" one of them said as they showed us their credentials, "We're from the government of Canada."
"We gotta get out of here!" my friend said.
"It's not real!" I said, "They're actors! Their guns aren't real and-"
"GET ON THE GROUND!" one of the agents shouted, as they shoved me into the snow.
My friend started running as the agents fired. I was surprised that the bullets that flew past were real, not blanks. I tried yelling to my friend to stop overreacting and to get in the car, but they wouldn't listen. I had no choice but to follow them. I struggled free and the agents followed suit.
My friend and I ran until we reached a motel. We quickly got a room and hid until we were sure the agents were gone. My friend pulled out their laptop from their backpack and set it up.
"They're asking me for some more information," they said.
"The cult?" I said, "That's nothing more than a puzzle! It's all fake! You're wasting time. We should focus on getting back to the car before we get towed."
"Ha! I solved it! What's this?"
I looked at the screen. It showed a story about some animals or aliens who were getting ready for an important event but got lost and had to explore the world around them. The border around the text displayed a rainbow of melting faces, as if they were tripping on LSD. Below were a series of abstract art and interpretations; what I could only assume was "puzzles."
"It seems we unlocked some more scriptures. I can feel myself gaining more knowledge about this very universe I live in."
"You've lost it. None of this is real."
"It is! I swear! If it was just a game, I wouldn't have asked for your help."
"Whatever, I'm going to try to get some sleep and forget this ever happened. I don't care about how much you're obsessed with this cult. Tomorrow morning, we're leaving."
I tried to go to sleep as my friend stayed glued to the screen obsessing over this so-called cult. No matter how much they shoved it down my throat, I refused to accept it as nothing more than viral marketing. I knew I should have cut contact with this bastard once I graduated high school…