The Animal Council

“Well,” I asked the animals, “Which of you is truly a saviour meant to help humanity?”

“It’s me,” the goat said, “Without me humanity would never exist. And yet, here I am, giving them all responsibilities and jobs, despite them already being busy. Not to mention they don’t really have freedom from their bodily needs and the laws of the universe.”

“What about me?” said the caribou, “I allow humans to travel anywhere. God never gave them wings or gills, but thanks to planes and boats, they can fly and sail great distances. Sadly, they don’t realize how lucky they have it. If humans truly had wings or gills, they would treat flying and breathing underwater as they swim as exercise. As such, they would never do it. And they’re always scared of crashing. If they’re behind the wheel, any sort of object can come up in front, behind, or to the side of them, crash into them, and end their life.”

“I teach them to live in the moment,” said the bear, “They need to know that the past is behind them and that the future will never exist. And yet they always question it, wondering when the end of the universe will be. They’re scared that they’re too busy and never have time to relax.”

“But I’m the core of their existence,” the coyote said, “They need to know that one day they will die. They can’t escape me. They can fight all they want and cry that they wasted their lives, but they’re not immortal.”

“Nonsense,” the elephant said, “I gave them money. Without it, there would be no worth to work and the goods and services that they earn. Despite this, I still haven't stopped homelessness and unemployment. It seems that there are people who are way above the average person earning money for a living. They work to survive while the gifted and spoiled flaunt their wealth. Is it too late to give everyone equal worth?”

“You fools,” the horse said, “They need weapons. They have to protect themselves. They need to be scared and see that the people around them are useless and monolithic. As long as they’re under the believe that they’re the only one who matters and that they deserve to be superior, even if it means ending the life of others, then I have done good things for humanity. Then again, how does innocent people fighting and dying for the sake of the leaders who sit around planning where, when, and how the innocent ones die solve anything?”

“And what about me, who gives them choice?” the donkey asked, “If they couldn’t choose they’d be nothing more than slaves. They always say ‘I don't care’ when it comes to choice, and yet if they were dogs who were starving and had to choose between fresh and expired food in order too live, and willingly allowed their owner to give them expired food, would they truly appreciate that they didn't care?”

“No no,” I said, “That’s enough talking. I’ve made up my mind. You have all doomed humanity from the start. Clearly, I’m the only one who can save humanity.”

“What makes you say that?” the goat asked.

“Do you not realize that you’re a tiger?” the caribou asked.

“Everyone will run away from you,” the bear said.

“Hunters will kill you for sport,” the coyote said.

“Honestly, why do we bother letting a tiger try to talk sense into people when they are just as helpless?” the elephant said.

“Exactly,” the horse said, “no one can save humanity.”

“Now stop wasting our time,” the donkey said.

I was confused and upset by their comments, and yet when I ran to a mirror, it was true. I was in fact a tiger. It’s strange. I never considered myself as having stripes, claws, and fangs; but now I see they fit me all too nicely. Clearly there is no hope for humanity when animals like us roam the Earth.

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